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October 24th, 2017

On days like this all I want is to stay in bed and cuddle with Zeus. The room feels cool with a small amount of warmth. He is laying on his bed breathing hard. He woke me up about twice in the morning around 3am and 6am. As I got up to take him out the second time, I start feeling a rush go through my body. Maybe it’s the cold air hitting me as I open the door for him or the excitement that my subconscious is feeling about the wedding. These 20 months of engagement with Oscar have flown by. It honestly feels like Oscar got down on one knee and asked me to marry him just yesterday. Oscar, Zeus and marriage is all I’ve thought about for the last few months. It has really taken over my life. It’s a feeling of excitement, joy and terror all at once. I hate change, it’s something I don’t deal with very well. The thought of changing the rhythm of life is somewhat scary in a good way. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him, but I’m also nervous about leaving my home. It’s something that is actually easier said than done. I feel like I’m leaving a huge part of me in my home. The person I once was is starting a new life. It’s definitely something I’ve always wanted without a doubt. He is truly the definition of my happiness. Theres not a day that passes by that I didn’t wished it was November 4th already. I loved all the planning and organizing but honestly I just want it to be over. It’s excruciating  pain holding down so much excitement and different feeling all at once. The excitement and nerves come harder each day as the days goes by. We are literally down the wire and I can’t wait to marry this man.