change, happiness, life, love, marriage, mom

“Marriage is hard”​

First and foremost let me start by saying  I am not a professional nor a specialist in the matter, but I am a wife and it’s close enough LOL.

Marriage is hard. No, really it is so “hard.” When I lived at home it was so nice. Sure I had rules, mandated chores, and a curfew.  Now that I have my own home I have “freedom” and chores lots and lots of chores. Cleaning, cooking, and laundry have become those really annoying friends I just can’t seem to get rid of, no matter how much I’ll avoid my house they’re still there waiting for me when I get home. I don’t mind the cooking I love to cook, but I hate doing dishes. Ps. Husband, if you’re reading this, for Christmas I want a dishwasher! Also, laundry is hard to get done when you’re home alone and you have a fear of basements “tehehe.”

Before I got married my mom warned me I was going to miss her and that marriage is hard and it’s not easy. She was somewhat right. I miss her tons! I mostly miss her cooking alongside her support when doing chores.  When she mentioned marriage was difficult I imagined that maybe she meant Oscar and I would not agree often or get along or God knows what. I have to say she was actually wrong about that. A lot of people told us “marriage is hard.” We heard that repeatedly along with “The first year of marriage is the hardest.” I beg to differ because that was a lie, well in our experience so far. The only thing we disagree the most about is what we’re watching on Netflix tonight LOL.

Marriage to some people can perhaps seem like the end, but to us it is just the beginning. Oscar is such a patient, loving husband. I am seriously very lucky. He doesn’t ask me to cook every day. He doesn’t expect the house to always be clean and guys homeboy does his OWN LAUNDRY and sometimes mine! When I sneak a few things in his basket LOL. Oscar is my ideal dream husband. I love to cook and clean for him as crazy as that sounds. Somedays I’m extremely tired from work and I order pizza and he is the happiest because that’s his favorite anyways. My point is marriage isn’t so hard for us yet. Perhaps things change when you add a tiny roommate to the mix, but as of now, we’re good.

I’m not going to lie when we got married I was scared. I feared that everyone that said to us “marriage is hard” would be right. I feared we wouldn’t find our rhythm in life. That our busy careers would be too much or that coming from different managed households would affect us and it hasn’t. I have to say we did find our rhythm and we have been dancing away these past ten months so in love. I do believe marriage could be hard or difficult when there isn’t much communication or compromise, but marriage is like any other relationship or friendship. In order for it to work, you have to give the same amount of what you take in order to receive.

Happy ten months my love!

life, love, toxic

Too much love

Is there a thing as loving too much? Or caring too much about someone?

Could too much love or attention hurt someone rather than help them? In any relationship should love and attentions be measured? How much love is too little or too much?

Personally in my own life I am a strong lover. I love immensely, deeply and madly. I care so much for my love ones, especially my sisters they are my world. I’ve always thought that too much love when it comes to them can be a little toxic. Sometimes I know I can be a little too much to handle. I need to give them enough love, tough love and space as well.

My sister Jass is the perfect example of an expert at giving tough love. She literally gives everyone tough love especially me. She doesn’t sugar coat things and I admire her so much for that. She has taught me so much especially how to be a better person. Jasmine has the type of personality that you can only give her so much love before she gets annoyed or tells you not to touch her or especially hug her. She hates hugs. I love hugs I’m a huger and sometimes I’ll hug her just to piss her off LOL

My other sister is the complete opposite of Jass and myself. She is the baby, she loves attention and love. According to her she hates when we baby her, but honestly we all know how sensitive she is and if we don’t show her love she’s like “what am I, a roach?” She has such a funny humor and sass. She’s a little sassy version of me. I love to give her so many attentions and love, but I know spoiling her isn’t always best. She can be so loving when she gets her way and it makes me so happy when she comes around and shows me more affection than usual, but she can also be so sassy when she’s in a bad mood.

I feel like each person in a way can only handle so much love. whether it’s needed or desired. Love is like power, give someone too much power and it gets to their head. Love can be measured and honestly in my opinion it should only be given when deserved. Sometimes you give lots of love and attentions to someone who won’t truly appreciate it or acknowledge it. Love can be powerful, but can also be dreadful it can drain you and make you toxic when it has been given to the wrong people.