choosing love, happiness, life, love, self-love

Open letter to my sisters

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To my sisters,

I know this is probably something you guys will find super cheesy and whatnot, but I just want to show and express my love for you two. I know we see each other every other day but I truly do miss you guys and all the dumb shit you guys always do at home and at public places. Especially all those afternoons we would just sit around and do nothing but talk and eat. I love you rats!

I don’t say it enough, and I don’t think I ever possibly could, but I love you. You guys are my bests of friends. There is no one that will understand me like you guys. I honestly don’t know how I got so lucky two have such great amazing somewhat loving sisters like you lol. I know at times I can be very persistent (bossy) but I think that’s an older sibling trait. I just want to see you succeed and never settle for less. I want you to always remember that you are one of a kind and know your worth. Know you are unique, intelligent, and loved very very loved. By myself, mom and dad and anyone that’s lucky enough to see what a wonderful person you are.

I wouldn’t trade you guys for the world. Unless student loans took sisters as a form of a full payment (kidding) LOL. You guys are my best friends and pretty much my only friends lol, but I don’t mind it. I’ve always preferred to keep my circle small and we’re as small as it can get. I love sharing all my joy and even my sadness with you. I love being able to just give you a call and know that if I need anything you are there without any hesitation. I don’t think I’ll ever have such reliable friends as Y’all.

During the course of this year, I learned so many great things. I’ve learned myself worth. I’ve learned I’m capable of pretty much anything if I discipline myself. I’ve learned especially that my family is the only most important thing in my life and without you guys, anything I have would have no value at all. I need my family. I love you guys. My little sisters are my true motivation. You guys are my motor and support system along with our parents and my amazing husband. I don’t know what I would do without you guys. I love you guys so much!

 

change, choosing love, happiness, life, love, marriage, Uncategorized

​The broken road. . .

 

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Have you ever had your heart so broken that you probably thought you would never be able to recover? I’ve been reflecting on what has been of my life recently and what I always imagined it would be like. During teen years I believe we have a good amount of heartbreak. Either caused by our friends, family, decisions, and relationships. I personally believe those heartbreaks are the ones that set the road for the rest of our lives.

Out of all the multiple heartbreak and disappointments I’ve gone through, there have been many situations I’ve played over and over again in my head and I always ask myself this question, is this destiny or is this consequences of my actions? Is my life already written? Does God really have a plan for me? Can I change my destiny? Am I getting what I deserve and asked for? Is this the platform for the rest of my life?

Not only did I see a broken road ahead of me before the sun. I saw darkness and fear. I had this giant doubt within myself and what I was capable of doing. I remember telling God and no longer asking him for it but demanding him that I NEEDED CHANGE. I said, “give me what you want as long as it’s what I need.” I kid you not it took less than 3 months and God put me in my place. PRAYER TRULY IS POWERFUL.

The course of this recent and past year has been very eye-opening to me and has truly made me a huge believer that God gives you not what you ask for but what you need. God has mended aches in my heart from the past and has truly given me what I needed to heal. When I believed all was lost and all was gone he had a plan for me all along. I just needed to be patient and listen. Heartbreak I believed I would never recover from literally lead me down a path to a life I would have never imagined in my wildest dreams.

God has placed me on this road that sometimes it’s hard not to question or doubt because it has brought me the most wonderful blessings ever. Although they say God never makes mistakes it hard when at times it feels so surreal. The heartbreaks and the past mistakes have been definitely been worth it all. I would do it all over again if I knew it would lead me down this path. To where now I have this self-esteem that NO ONE could ever take from me. I have faith that is stronger than ever and most importantly where I have a home with a husband that loves me unconditionally and takes me for who I am.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

choosing love, happiness, life, love, marriage, Uncategorized

Timeline

My Life Plan (Plan B)

As I think about all the things I wanted to accomplish and things I’ve already have. I can’t help but think to myself, did I do it in the wrong order? Is there even a correct order for things to be done? School, work, save money, get engaged, get married, buy a home and build a family. If we think about it people will always believe that is the “correct” or right way of doing things but is it really?

I used to believe there was a specific way to do things. I was that girl who wanted to do it all in order. I HAD A TIMELINE. Which at the end I never followed. Thinking about it now if I would have followed my timeline, I would probably not be sitting here typing my thoughts. I’d probably still be in a school somewhere stressing or maybe be done with it. I would probably still be dating my husband and be super stressed out about life and why my life isn’t going according to my timeline.

When my husband and I decided to get married, I hadn’t even finished my degree. We had no clue where to even start. We had no idea how much money we needed to have or anything. We winged it and went day by day. We decided to set a date and tell our immediate family. We went on that year in college and finished our Associate’s degree that spring. He already had his career going and I was just getting started with mine. That year we began to save and see where life would take us from there.

A year later without being married, my husband started talking about where we would live. We had an idea we wanted to own a home before tying the knot but weren’t sure if it was an option yet. My husband has always been a businessman and said owning a property would be a much better investment than renting a home or apartment. So we set out to look for our home and found it 4 months before we were set to get married. Honestly, my heart dropped. I was excited, confused and scared. I was worried about what we got ourselves into. I was worried about our timeline.

Let me tell you guys it has been one of the best decisions and blessings of our lives. Having your own home and having your privacy is amazing and much needed! Thinking of my beliefs and our timeline I decided I would not move in yet. Our parents, my husband, and his family are very traditional and we all agreed on waiting to live together until after we got married. That is something I am definitely proud of because it was worth the wait and was part of my timeline.

Looking at our lives now and the turns the world takes is amazing. We didn’t follow the complete order of my timeline, but we are happy and that is all that matters. Everything now we are just taking day by day. I have a whole lifetime to get things done and now I have someone to be with me in all my journeys. I feel so much more motivated to do bigger and better things for my husband and our future family. As of now, we don’t have a timeline. We are just taking life day by day and following the path God has for us.

 

 

choosing love, happiness, life, love, wedding

Six Months

Six Months. Half a year. One hundred and eighty-two days and a whole life time to go. Honestly these past few months have flown by so fast. I honestly feel that marriage has fitted me so well.

The idea of marriage overall has always excited me. I love the idea of spending the rest of my life with my one and only. When Oscar and I got engaged I almost passed out from the excitement. The week of our engagement it was none stop calls, texts and celebrations from our loved ones. Everyone was very excited for us and it was such an amazing feeling. Our families have played such an important factor in our happiness and marriage. The amount of love and support we’ve received from our loved ones now and then has shown us that with love anything is possible. Although many believe we were way to young to get married, it has been the BEST decision we’ve made.

Believe me when I say marriage is NOT easy. It requires A LOT of work. Consider it a full-time job. You have now moved into a new life where you are sharing everything with your significant other.  *Correction* As I lay here and write my blog Oscar asked if he could use my toothbrush ( just to be a smart ass and prove me wrong) I said “no” and he said “you liar we don’t share everything.” LOL

So you don’t share “everything” in marriage, but pretty close. You share your joys, sadness, fears, accomplishment and any other life changing events. With Oscar I feel I’ve shared it all and whatever is left to come. Theres is so much more to marriage than what people really see or hear. Marriage in my personal opinion and personal experience is difficult, but when it is done with the right person and with lots of love its a much more enjoyable experience. These past six months with my husband have been the best of times. Cheers to the years and moments to come.

Happy six months anniversary my love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

October 24th, 2017

On days like this all I want is to stay in bed and cuddle with Zeus. The room feels cool with a small amount of warmth. He is laying on his bed breathing hard. He woke me up about twice in the morning around 3am and 6am. As I got up to take him out the second time, I start feeling a rush go through my body. Maybe it’s the cold air hitting me as I open the door for him or the excitement that my subconscious is feeling about the wedding. These 20 months of engagement with Oscar have flown by. It honestly feels like Oscar got down on one knee and asked me to marry him just yesterday. Oscar, Zeus and marriage is all I’ve thought about for the last few months. It has really taken over my life. It’s a feeling of excitement, joy and terror all at once. I hate change, it’s something I don’t deal with very well. The thought of changing the rhythm of life is somewhat scary in a good way. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him, but I’m also nervous about leaving my home. It’s something that is actually easier said than done. I feel like I’m leaving a huge part of me in my home. The person I once was is starting a new life. It’s definitely something I’ve always wanted without a doubt. He is truly the definition of my happiness. Theres not a day that passes by that I didn’t wished it was November 4th already. I loved all the planning and organizing but honestly I just want it to be over. It’s excruciating  pain holding down so much excitement and different feeling all at once. The excitement and nerves come harder each day as the days goes by. We are literally down the wire and I can’t wait to marry this man.