Have you ever had your heart so broken that you probably thought you would never be able to recover? I’ve been reflecting on what has been of my life recently and what I always imagined it would be like. During teen years I believe we have a good amount of heartbreak. Either caused by our friends, family, decisions, and relationships. I personally believe those heartbreaks are the ones that set the road for the rest of our lives.
Out of all the multiple heartbreak and disappointments I’ve gone through, there have been many situations I’ve played over and over again in my head and I always ask myself this question, is this destiny or is this consequences of my actions? Is my life already written? Does God really have a plan for me? Can I change my destiny? Am I getting what I deserve and asked for? Is this the platform for the rest of my life?
Not only did I see a broken road ahead of me before the sun. I saw darkness and fear. I had this giant doubt within myself and what I was capable of doing. I remember telling God and no longer asking him for it but demanding him that I NEEDED CHANGE. I said, “give me what you want as long as it’s what I need.” I kid you not it took less than 3 months and God put me in my place. PRAYER TRULY IS POWERFUL.
The course of this recent and past year has been very eye-opening to me and has truly made me a huge believer that God gives you not what you ask for but what you need. God has mended aches in my heart from the past and has truly given me what I needed to heal. When I believed all was lost and all was gone he had a plan for me all along. I just needed to be patient and listen. Heartbreak I believed I would never recover from literally lead me down a path to a life I would have never imagined in my wildest dreams.
God has placed me on this road that sometimes it’s hard not to question or doubt because it has brought me the most wonderful blessings ever. Although they say God never makes mistakes it hard when at times it feels so surreal. The heartbreaks and the past mistakes have been definitely been worth it all. I would do it all over again if I knew it would lead me down this path. To where now I have this self-esteem that NO ONE could ever take from me. I have faith that is stronger than ever and most importantly where I have a home with a husband that loves me unconditionally and takes me for who I am.